The Illusion

"Its an illusion", I told myself.

If that's true,

Then why am I living in it?

Why then, do I dance with the winds,

Or bask in the glory of sunshine

Thinking, "Life couldn't surely get better."





The answer lies with me

And i don't want it to be told.

Who am I hiding it from then?

The halo of my real feelings

Encompasses my illusion,

Or does my illusion halo

around The Truth?







The Truth needs to be told, to be felt.

Can I bear its aftermath then?

Or have I become so lost

in the illusion that I created for myself,

that The Truth is now an illusion?

FRIENDS FOREVER

“‘Coz you’re my sweetest friend ever!”
I was elated. I wanted to believe it.
Did the most popular girl in school just say that?
Or was I imagining it?

Now I would be popular too.
An end to the perpetual “who’s she?”
I would be talked about too.
And make new friends galore.

That’s how it began.
Her words worked on me like a charm.
“Your best friend is such a bore!”
I knew she meant no harm.

But I stopped talking to my best friend.
“You’re just jealous of my friendship with her!”
Is what I told my best friend a few days later.
And she took it calmly.

Wannabe popular.
“Did u see that?
She’s the new side kick!”
It was me that girl was pointing at.

I saw that.
“You know how people can be,
They just can’t tolerate a healthy friendship!”
I believed her again.

She was popular.
She couldn’t be wrong.
“Why are you wearing yellow?”
I changed to green.

I would do her homework.
Help her with studies.
“Our friendship’s forever!”
Anything for her- I thought.

Judgment Day.

I overheard them talking-
“Why are you friends with her if u hate her so much?”
“Whatever made u think we’re friends??
She’s just another wannabe!”

I was hurt.
“I thought we were friends!”
“Oh don’t pretend that you weren’t
Using me for getting popular!

“Besides, didn’t you ever figure out
That you and I are worlds apart?
I would never had talked to you
If you hadn’t been smart!”

I wanted to scream, shout.
Hit her on her nose.
But I realized the value of a lesson learnt.
And walked back home with a broken heart.

Shit!!!!

shit man... uncle R passed away a few months back!!!! i really dont know wht to say... this is probably the first real death i've come across in my life. n im really worried abt Rupasree n her bro... i hope they are atleast sober... plz pray for them... :(

love,
VanityInsanity

A Story

dear online diary,

god really has the strangest ways of dealing with people! a few days back, i went to visit one of my father's former colleagues and his family. the last time i had seen uncle R was when i was 3yrs old... so i remembered very little abt him. i had completely forgotten that he had a daughter the same age as me (we used to be classmates before my father got transferred) n a son a year older than my 8 yr old brother.

when papa was living in mumbai, he used to visit uncle R frequently in the tata memorial hospital for cancer patients. a few months after that, we heard that he had healed due to chemotherapy. but some weeks later, it was discovered that he still had cancer cells in his body, this time, in a different place.

what left us all bewildered was that this man, who was suffering so much, had been a god fearing n good man all his life. he had had healthy habits n had never smoked a cigarette. moreover, he was always ready to help when someone called upon him.

when we visited him, he seemed pretty happy to see us. for me, it was a shock to see what cancer had reduced him to! the tall n well built man, that i knew him to be was reduced to just skin n bones with a few lumps of wounds here n there.

from an energetic, positive n calm man, he had changed into this grumpy father who was always complaining about his children. what hurt us all the most was his pessimism! everytime he would be in pain, he would tell his family that he had only a few moments to live.

and for u, dear diary, i have only a request. plz pray for this man before its too late.

Welcome To My World

hey online diary!
guess u just dropped by for some information on just another craphead... and here it goes.
my world is the world of just another teenager. school in the morning, tutions in the evening. then dinner, after which i go to bed. pretty boring. i know. but thats how i am... cant really help it. even then, i love my life... love dreaming of how beautiful the world around me could be... n i never seem to get bored of it!
and i'm so confused!!!! confused to the extent of not knowing exactly who i have a crush on! funny thing. even then, i get to be the "agony aunt".
and i'm a huge fan of ronan keating n his music.... just so romantic!
okay, enough information about me for the day... now get back to ur other work!\
bye then!
VaniyInsanity